Mantra for life.
Really feeling this way lately. I’m not sure what clicked or changed in me in the last couple of months, but all of the sudden I’m just not willing to put up with people’s bullshit anymore. Feminist friend defending transphobic language? Someone repeatedly taking their shit out on me and being unwilling to acknowledge it? Get the fuck out of my life, because I don’t have time for you.
I think a lot of it probably comes from me finally learning how to truly love myself. How to put my wants and needs first. How to put myself first when someone is mistreating me, instead of making endless excuses for their behavior. How to trust my own feelings instead of arguing with them.
That last bit is something I still struggle with a lot. But I’m getting better, day by day.
And the bridges I burn will light the way.
Oh man I am *really* struggling with this lately. On the one hand I realize that some bridges may in fact be best set aflame, blazing bright, with no looking back. While on the other hand, part of me wonders is that healthy? Is that a form of not dealing with shit because it’s just too difficult and painful right this minute? I have a long standing habit of doing this when things get really rough. Shielding myself from hurt sometimes = pretending people/things never existed and moving on. Ugh. I’m so confused. March 1st and unlimited therapist visits can’t come soon enough.
Aye, I know exactly what you mean. I struggle with that dilemma a lot. I wish there was some perfect moment of clarity for problems like this, but that rarely happens. Sometimes you just can’t know for sure if you’re doing the right thing. But I know that in the past I’ve been so obsessed with doing the “right” thing or the “mature” thing that I haven’t really paid attention to what’s right for me.
I think I’ve had to start looking at my relationships as an investment of my time, energy, and other resources. I have to ask myself, “Is this healthy? Are my needs being met? Am I giving more than I’m getting? Are my concerns being heard and validated when I bring them up? Is this person being manipulative? Do I consistently feel exhausted/worn out by my interactions with this person?” and really listen to my gut’s answers.
And then, if my needs aren’t being met or any of those other things are happening, I have to step back and choose to stop investing my time and energy in that relationship. And yeah, you can call that “burning bridges”, but in reality I think it’s just self-care.
Easier said than done, I know.
