A Non-Binary Butch in the South

COERCION IS NOT CONSENT. (tw discussion of coercive rape)

frrrass:

Even if it is not your primary intent to make someone feel guilty about not wanting sexual contact with you, it is YOUR responsibility to ensure that they have absolutely no reason to feel guilty about not wishing to have sexual contact with you.

This means that it is solely YOUR responsibility to make sure that your behaviour following a decline of sexual contact is appropriate - ie no sighing, huffing or puffing, or moping, and ESPECIALLY no anger or aggression.

If your feelings are hurt, fine, but go walk it off, or do whatever you have to do to feel better, AWAY from that person and/or in a non-passive-aggressive manner that lets them know that their right to say no is paramount.

Engaging in behaviours that make your disappointment/frustration known is unnacceptable due to the (pressuring, guilting) effect it will undoubtedly have on the person who did not want sex with you at that time. It undermines that person’s bodily autonomy in favour of your insecurities. This is not ok. As such, any “yes” given under these circumstances is not an autonomous one.

Any “yes” that is not given freely, enthusiastically and autonomously is not a real “yes” and should not be taken as consent for you to initiate sexual contact.

Making someone feel bad or guilty or pressured into saying yes to sexual contact, is coercion.

COERCION.IS.NOT.CONSENT.

COERCION IS RAPE.